she woke up with a sticky ear
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
