three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
