the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
