dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need a beard to bite.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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