I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This baby is an asshole
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
