I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
