You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
