If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize