so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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