Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
