that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
