I'm drive I can fine osifer
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
