Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
