Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
