you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
