Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
