I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize