it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
