Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
