I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
