shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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