"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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