you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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