she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
