i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
