i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
