i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
