I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
