PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
