Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
