After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
