i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
