there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
