at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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