Where is the hickey?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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