Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????