My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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