my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?