she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
