the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Less talking, more tequila
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
