What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she pinky promised me she was 18
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
