Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
