no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
