so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize