From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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