Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
