You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
