i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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