Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
