i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
only if we run a train.
done.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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