just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
