Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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