It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
