Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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