fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
