Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize