He passed out mid-signature
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
