i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I would fuck him just for his dog
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
