Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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