I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
