how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
