1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
