if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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