It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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