I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
