i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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