I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
