omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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