Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
