You're my little dorito
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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