you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
