Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
only you would photoshop your dick
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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