i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
